reality bites

have emerged from a week of a weird state of part oblivion and part heightened awareness. now that the numbness has worn off, i see that there is a fair bit of way to go before i get to that fantasy place of mental peace and emotional harmony. the fluctuating mood swings are getting scary-madness, hysteria, crazed laughter, frenetic dancing, and then crashing down to the dungeon of unworthiness where imagination drives me to the point of insanity, where i want to shut down my visuals and just lie in deep velvelty black emptiness. anything, even no feeling is better than this.