of singles & doubles, patterns & designs

I had lunch with married marmalade. One on one. After a long time. It reminded me of what friends mean-single or double. You could be making the most startling discovery about life, but its when you sound it off a friend that it acquires a physical presence and actually makes sense. The interaction with a person who GETS you, who knows what you mean is the validation you need to believe in yourself even more. We talked about patterns that we create in life-certain repetitions. We wondered whether that pattern needed to be broken for us to find happiness and balance.

Ours and our friends’ past relationships for example, all followed a pattern. They were either all pathetically immature, or all certain types-the brats, the mama’s boys etc. Was that a reflection on us we wondered? Could we have made more of an effort to avoid those stereotypes? It was when marmalade broke the pattern that she found someone who made her genuinely happy without sucking all life out of her, without draining her energy and her happiness. If we can get to 30, a great career, and personal achievements, can we then also get to a point where WE are the trend makers, WE design the pattern-however intricate or simple-and WE are the masters of our destiny? I think we can.

In the evening, the usual suspects met for coffee. They had been there innumerable times, had ordered the mochacinos, affigatos, banana breads many many times, they had gossiped, shared, joked, been angry too-it was familiar territory. This time though there was an unusual offender all the way from Birmingham, who didn’t know their quirks, didn’t know their particular jokes, didn’t know them, but added a sudden freshness to the evening. The laughs were a degree brighter, the repartee a degree crisper and the group felt a degree more energized. It brought a newness to the group without interfering with the chemistry or the dynamics.

Is this what B was referring to-the infusion of new blood from time to time? If so, he might have something there. This then must be the key to any successful relationship. Don’t let it stagnate, keep it moving, mix it up, add new ingredients so that the result is always un predictable, and spanking new every time.