developing a private persona

being part of a big family-sharing a room with a sister-never really getting space to yourself, i guess i was mostly always the public me-which wasnt a bad thing-but now, slowly getting used to the hotel suite where its my domain and i am the queen-and as i get comfortable with it, i am emerging from mariam-for-everyone to mariam-for-mariam. I talk loudly to myself, laugh out hysterically, dance across the floor, pose in front of the mirror, sleep diagonally across the bed, or sit quietly without an outside voice intruding.

It makes me believe even more strongly in the necessity of personal space-its considered almost ridiculous the idea that you could need your own private space-those doubting thomases give you a one eyebrow stare-what do you want to do that you cant do around us-and just not bothered with explaining, you keep quiet.

Even if its something as simple as sitting in a chair-or watching tv with the remote in your hand-its importance cannot be undermined and for an individual to evolve into that elusive private person-space is key. I wish it was a matter-of-fact reality which no one could question, so that all the women & men who exist as mere shadoqs of themselves could actually blossom and emerge confident, sure & happy.