i think

maybe i am not as cool as i think- just maybe i cant resolve everything-and maybe i am too burnt to go near the fire. maybe, just maybe.

wednesday wanderings- blogword: Two

when we were children, we played games for hours and hours- we wouldnt stop or take a break till, in fear of being caught, we would shout- two times! which would automatically signal to the gang that for those few moments, we were unapproachable- we needed time out- we had to be given space- in those moments none of the rules applied-we just took it as it came- either sat down breathing heavily, or just stood around relaxed because we knew no one could touch us. None of the gang gave us a hard time for it, no one questioned it, and absolutely no one held it against us. it was a ritual religiously followed and accepted.

Grown up now and acknowledging that the games are over, the one thing i miss is being able to stop in the middle of the worst of situations, the most horrible of binds and shout out -
TWO TIMES! and know that everyone will move back and i will be given my space to BE, for as long as i want.

permission

we always talk about our right to do exactly what we want- we always talk about allowing ourselves to do things
what about things we should disallow ourselves?

alchemy

love and desire. to question them is to question life.

10 things to do at 5 30 am-

1. listen to the birds chirping
2. watch the sky become blue-black
3. have halwa puri
4. go for a walk barefoot on the grass
5. drink a tall glass of water
6. go to the beach
7. be the first person to read the newspaper
8. fall asleep
9. continue working
10. take a flight to lahore

Number 10 is what i plan to do tonight.