the year that goes by

6 months. 180 days. 4320 hours. 259200 minutes.
its been that long. and its been that quick.
it had moments i thought would never end, and times i didnt ever want to end.
it made me more me, though some may beg to differ.
it made a new me. though some may not agree.
in the course of 2007, july is coming to an end in 7 days.
i dont want time to fly, but sometimes-
i want it to run like the wind so i can find myself in december.
it will be different - the twosome instead of the one-
and i absolutely cant wait.

re-awakening

You have a group of friends, and you love that group. Each individual in that group has a role to play in your life. You wish and hope the group always remains, as it is. The idea of change seems almost scary-like you will lose your focus. What will you do? Then the dreaded change happens. Some of you evolve, revolve and move off onto another path. Some become part of a twosome and the dynamics change. Some of you stay, feeling lost and reaching out in the dark for something familiar to grab onto. Each of you has unwittingly gone down a road which takes you farther away from each other. You cry-nothing will ever be the same.

Slowly you learn to pick up the pieces, and tread on, walking, running.

Then there comes a new day- you wake up to a day of clarity. When you look around you see that some of you stuck it out together in the dark and those are the people you find you were holding onto while you waited for the night to end. Slowly you come to realize that some of you who didn’t make it were the ones whose future was not linked to yours- those who didn’t need you, were the ones who left. Out of the fog a few new faces appear, maybe they were always there, maybe they just joined in for the journey- it doesn’t matter. They were there for the worst and you know in your heart of hearts they are here to stay.

So what you see around you is a new group, made up of some old faces & some new, but most importantly in the new faces you see such knowledge of you that you stop for a second. You wonder how you didn’t see this before and you do a silent prayer that you saw it before it was too late. The group has changed but so have you.

sometimes

sometimes i dont know what i know,
sometimes i dont say what i feel.
sometimes i love without reality,
sometimes the reality is not love.
sometimes i want to be powerful,
sometimes the power leaves me weak.
sometimes i cant go on,
sometimes i just have to.
sometimes madness takes control,
sometimes the lack of control makes me mad.
sometimes its just so simple,
but sometimes it simply isnt true.

Jammie tagged me

I am thinking what a wonderful world it could be
I said i think this could work
I want to dance with abandon to the cheapest indian song possible
I wish i could be as productive creatively as i aim to be
I miss the hotel suite in manila
I hear the sound of rain and i think its the best sound in the whole wide world
I wonder what my employees think about me
I regret not being more of a bitch in my past relationships
I am retarded (after 2am)
I dance with my heels off the ground
I sing along in a deep tone even when its lata singing
I cry watching even the stupidest melodramatic indian movies
I am not as composed as i like to believe i am
I write very sporadically
I confuse my youngest sister-she doesnt understand why i feel the need to jump up and dance at every possible moment
I need to start yoga again
I should stop myself from overdosing on cheese cake
I finish every book i start

blogword of the day- decisions

"every human heartbeat, is a universe of possibilities. and it seemed to me that i finally understood what he meant. he'd been trying to tell me that every human will has the power to transform its fate. i'd always thought that fate was something unchangeable:fixed for everyone of us at birth, and as constant as the circuit of stars. but i suddenly realized that life is stranger and more beautiful than that. the truth is that, no matter what kind of game you find yourself in, no matter how good or bad the luck is, you can change your life completely with a single thought or a single act of love."

shantaram.

blogword of the day- end

the end of femininity?

we

"after changes upon changes, we are more or less the same-"

paul simon lyrics

nugget from O

"There are no right answers. But there is a right question.
it's the one that rubs up against our self-righteousness, resistance and fears... when you ask yourself, 'why not?'
you may find yourself in motion, across a vivid landscape, over impossible mountains and beyond the water's edge, where you surprise yourself, once and for all, by getting wet."

karen maezen miller in momma zen

postcards from faisalabad