espresso yourself 

begin

one of my favourite thoughts-just saw it on a friend's website. I love the feeling of dreams being realized in this.

'Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.'

W. H. Murray

realization

i could not put my finger on why i was feeling irrationally irritable from time to time, and today i knew what it was.
i miss my mom.

of singles & doubles, patterns & designs

I had lunch with married marmalade. One on one. After a long time. It reminded me of what friends mean-single or double. You could be making the most startling discovery about life, but its when you sound it off a friend that it acquires a physical presence and actually makes sense. The interaction with a person who GETS you, who knows what you mean is the validation you need to believe in yourself even more. We talked about patterns that we create in life-certain repetitions. We wondered whether that pattern needed to be broken for us to find happiness and balance.

Ours and our friends’ past relationships for example, all followed a pattern. They were either all pathetically immature, or all certain types-the brats, the mama’s boys etc. Was that a reflection on us we wondered? Could we have made more of an effort to avoid those stereotypes? It was when marmalade broke the pattern that she found someone who made her genuinely happy without sucking all life out of her, without draining her energy and her happiness. If we can get to 30, a great career, and personal achievements, can we then also get to a point where WE are the trend makers, WE design the pattern-however intricate or simple-and WE are the masters of our destiny? I think we can.

In the evening, the usual suspects met for coffee. They had been there innumerable times, had ordered the mochacinos, affigatos, banana breads many many times, they had gossiped, shared, joked, been angry too-it was familiar territory. This time though there was an unusual offender all the way from Birmingham, who didn’t know their quirks, didn’t know their particular jokes, didn’t know them, but added a sudden freshness to the evening. The laughs were a degree brighter, the repartee a degree crisper and the group felt a degree more energized. It brought a newness to the group without interfering with the chemistry or the dynamics.

Is this what B was referring to-the infusion of new blood from time to time? If so, he might have something there. This then must be the key to any successful relationship. Don’t let it stagnate, keep it moving, mix it up, add new ingredients so that the result is always un predictable, and spanking new every time.

fashionista

sometimes i think, if i was to change my line of work, i would go into fashion.

the lovely chundrigar 

karachi.

Beautiful.
Inspirational.
Gorgeous.
Heady.
Spectacular.
Poignant.
Stunning.
Arousing.
Today.

independent joy 

save the trees 

look up & dream.

In a city like ours, in a life like ours, the brief seconds of something akin to natural beauty that we see along our roads-the shrivelled palm trees, the wild uncontrollable keekar, the brilliantly vibrant bouganvillae, the odd wild flower in the pavement-sub consciously eases our stress. Granted its not islamabad-and thank god for that-but in its own rebellious way, karachi has come into its own, naturally. Which is why what i heard yesterday made me angry-made me extremely mad.

To provide uninterrupted view of an ugly huge billboard, the contractor of this said monstrosity was merrily chopping down the tops of all trees which dared to raise their head. I am not talking about pruning, it was actual brutal chop chop chop, with no sense of aesthetics, or any feeling of sympathy with the poor trees.

How have we allowed this useless billboard association of sindh to exist? It has no influence on any of the contractors, it has no concept of what the general principles of putting up billboards are, and it has absolutely no heart. Are we so desperate to sell our products that we dont care if the vehicle for our marketing covers windows in apartment buildings so the residents cant breathe, or stick their head out for some air? Are we so blinded by consumerism that we must put up billboards of every possible shape and size in every possible nook and cranny, blocking out every little patch of sky? Or are we just victims of our own needs, greed, where we need money, where we want more money?

When we were growing up, there were so many references to the sky. We looked up at the sky and the stars, talked about our dreams, discussed our lives, fantasized about the future-we drew the sky in blue, with white fluffy clouds, we sang songs about starry nights, we had bonfires under the midnight black sky, and we lived with colour, ideas, hopes. Without the sky to look up to, without sparkling stars to see, without patches of clouds to make shapes out of, what kind of a childhood are we promising our children?

wonderous 

post 2am-4 37 am

i have come to the conclusion with a little outside help, that i am very intelligent sounding in the middle of the night. My thoughts are clear, very focused and come out exactly how i mean them to. The day is full of distractions, divided, but the night with its darkness is serene, the perfect time for long talks, discussions, clarity, brilliance.

of breakdowns not nervous

Stressed out, knackered, a groaning karachi shuddered to a complete stop. all power depleted. This was our city's way of seeking attention, drawing us to its many ailments. While we sat, walked, or slept in the darkness i felt a certain pleasure in the therapeutic rest it might have provided karachi with-the much needed time off before jumping back into the action.

coffee happy 

my happy place